I have seen a
lot of storms in my life; some self-imposed, some simply the result of a fallen
world, and then those that came directly from Satan’s realm threatening my very
existence. I am contemplatively meditating tonight as I am about a year out
from being rescued by the Hands of Jesus from one of the largest storms of my
life that has loomed over me since I was 18 years old. This unholy tempest was
life-altering and would leave some permanent physical and emotional scars, but
in some miraculous ways. Life altering to the degree that I will never live
life for granted again! Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that the enemy of our
souls came to steal, kill and destroy, but He came to give us Life and Life
more Abundantly! I now live every day not with expectations, but with the
expectancy of a little child about what Abba is going to do with this
surrendered life today.
It is a curious meditation on the other side of the end of a lengthy storm like
this one that conjures thoughts like “is it really over?” It almost feels like
it was never real to begin with, and the repercussions have been as merciful as
Christ washing my feet by a warm fire. My mind, body, spirit, and soul are ever
thankful tonight, and again I feel almost like this is someone else’s story,
and I am just a witness that has prayed, interceded, and fought (as I often do)
for God to do a mighty miracle and He showed up in ways that are as usual
mind-blowing.
So, my question to Him on the backend of this difficult life-lesson is what
were you showing me here, Father? I have learned that we never fail a test with
God; we only take them over and over till we get them right. His simple yet
poignant answer was “walk in humility and focus on what has eternal weight” so
I have pondered that little nugget in my heart for almost three years now and now
I see the desires of my heart were selfishly motivated. My soulish nature has
fooled my spirit by looking for what seemed to be the right desires, but in all
actuality, I have been attracted to what is temporal, self-gratifying, and
vain. To the point that before this hiatus, I found myself meditating on
relationships, desires, and aspirations that were self-promoting, and full of
blissful manipulation. So, I am now on a determined path to having the Mind of
Christ in everything I put any I invest my mental, physical, and spiritual time
in. I will wake every morning from this point forward intentionally seeking
joy, and with conviction and a new discipline to have right thinking and right
desires in every decision I make, or the answer will be no.
Sometimes The Lord calms the storm, and sometimes He lets the storm rage and
calms His child
Jay
